Aaron Wright


Brexit Pie

A crowd-pleasing classic cooked using traditional ingredients with a surprising result.

Prep: 10 years Cooking time: 4 months
Difficulty: Medium Serves: 17 million


1 beleaguered country
Money (generous helpings of credit)
Essence of power (must be corrupt)
Lies (one spoonful)
A dash of blame
Austerity mix (for frosting)
Scapegoat (multiple sources)

Social media press
Sharp knife (for deep cuts)
Oven (Hot enough to create a climate of fear)

1. Take the country and crunch their credit. Leave them in the press until the uproar
is deafening.

2. Then bail them out. Siphon essential funds overseas then season with a dash of blame
and turn it up to gas mark 9.

3.  Cook the books, stir up some hate and sprinkle with a spoonful of lies.
Don’t forget to add the scapegoat.

4. Decorate with a frosting of austerity.
Now make some cuts, make them so deep that you create a great divide.

5. Make sure it’s all wrapped up in newspaper. Soak it in social media, then tighten.

6. Pull! Pull until it Brexits! Be there to pick up the pieces.
Charge them top whack to fix those things that used to be free.

7. Then sit back, relax and serve hot. Savour the clink of coins in coffers.
Congratulations! You’ve cooked up a Brexit Pie. You’ll make a killing!

Top tip: “For a more meatier version you can use different cuts of scapegoat and seasoning
of culpability to create a winning Election Pie.”

You may also like: Heartbreak Soup, Hostility Stew, Proof-is- in-the-Pudding

Comments: “I was pleasantly surprised at the results, I really didn@t think it would turn out
the way it did!”